On losing a dear friend…the unofficial obituary of a NH antiques dealer
By Kathy Greer

   It seems like I’ve known Mim Carpenter my entire life.
   I know it isn’t possible, but certainly for much of my adult life, Mim has been a guiding influence and the dearest of friends.
   I met Mim in the late 70’s; first primarily at auctions. As a "newbie" dealer, having started in the business while I was still in college in the early 70’s, I had a lot to learn and Mim was always willing to share her knowledge.
   As time passed, I grew to know others in the business who were also willing to share their knowledge like Mario and Maureen and "little Pat".
   There were also some of "those dealers", the ones that Mim was careful to point out to me and warned not to do business with. She knew which auctions used shills (very few in NH) and which dealers belong to "the pool". She could actually explain to me how the pool operated. It was an eye opening experience for a twenty something neophyte.
   Time passed; marriages ended. Mim’s due to the death of her husband in 1981; mine through divorce. I had left my job as a reporter with the Concord Monitor in the 70s and gone to work in the "corporate world." I didn’t see Mim as often because the corporate world tends to eat up your life. It certainly did mine.
   By the mid-80’s I’d had enough and went back to work as an investigative reporter at the NH Guardian News. I’d forgotten how much I loved the newspaper business. Pretty soon my new husband and I were buying "stuff" at auctions. Bob owned a automotive specialty garage in those days and started buying automobilia, primarily advertising signs. I resumed buying books and pretty soon we were doing Holt Hall again, primarily the book shows. Throughout this time period, Mim was always around.
   We’d meet at an auction, go have a bit to eat, maybe a drink on a Saturday night after one of Ken Martin’s auctions in Concord. We’d chat over hamburgers at George Foster’s in Epsom; have breakfast Sunday morning at Bud and Pauli Stevenson’s in Tilton.
   It was around this time, 1987-88 that I had a brain storm which later became UnRavel the Gavel. I began writing a monthly column for the "Guardian News" about auctions; why not an entire newspaper? The publisher at the Guardian, Tess Petix, was happy to let me use their facility on "off days" when their weekly didn’t need the light tables and MACS.
   Mim suggested Auction Actions for the name; it turned out that was too close to Action Auctions which was already registered with the state of NH. It was actually due to a suggestion from the editor of the Wolfeboro Times that I came up with UnRavel the Gavel. Mim loved it! In those days we were all young enough we actually thought we’d like to publish a bi-weekly. That idea came to a squeeching halt and Mim was instrumental in convincing me that I would quickly kill myself trying to work full time at the newspaper; part time in my husband’s automotive business and somehow publish "the Gavel" every two weeks. She was right of course, and very quickly I came to trust Mim’s gut instincts.
   Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t always do what Mim suggested. We were both stubborn. But it was the "time outs" I came to respect. The thought provoking questions she would ask. A little "devils advocate" which would niggle something in my brain, so that I could step back and somehow see the bigger picture. We never argued; I don’t think I ever heard Mim raise her voice. She rarely had anything cross to say about anyone. When she called me, which was often, several times a week, she always said, "Howdy, pal." or "Howdy, old friend." and she would laugh with that deep, gravely tone that came from too many years of smoking.
   "So there you have it, in a nutshell," she would say at the end of a rather lengthy gossip session about something happening in the antiques business.
   "In a nutshell!" I would tease and she would laugh again. Mim was always laughing. Despite crippling rheumatoid arthritis and numerous operations, she thoroughly enjoyed life. I loved her dearly.
    She was not only mother, sister, confidant, but one of the most loyal people I’ve ever known. She loved the newspaper business; she loved her two sons and two grandsons; she loved the antiques business; and she loved me.
  In the last two weeks leading up to her death we had the chance to chat about some of that. She was optimistic almost to the end. She told me repeatedly the last day we talked, "there’s always hope."
   Looking back, I know now she was probably saying the words more for my benefit than her own. The fact that the cancer was spreading through her body had me deeply worried; I wasn’t ready to let her go.
   At some point she said in a very dramatic voice, "I can see the headline now. "The Gavel is Done; Mim is Dead." We both laughed over that one. I told her it wasn’t a headline I wanted to write anytime soon and she admonished that she didn’t expect it was a headline I would ever write; that we needed to go on.
   "Let nature takes its course," she said. "It always does."
    She was right. So go out and love your friends, live your life. It is the only life you have.              KG

   New London, NH: Miriam "Mim" Hayward Carpenter, 78, formerly of Springfield and Boston, Massachusetts, passed away on September 2, following a lengthy illness. Born on March 14, 1928, in Springfield, MA, she was the youngest child of the late Nelson and Elsie (MacDougal) Foley.
When Mim was six years old, the family moved to Longmeadow, MA, where she attended the local schools. As a young adult, Mim spent her summers on Nantucket Island, where she learned to surf-cast, at one time holding the record for striped bass with a 35lb. catch. In 1952, she graduated from Boston University with a degree in commercial art, after which she worked at Jordon Marsh, in downtown Boston, in the executive training program. In 1954, Mim married Walter Hull Carpenter Jr., of Boston, who predeceased her in 1981. Together with their two young sons, they began spending summers in New London where, years later, they built their retirement home.
   Mim enjoyed many pursuits. In addition to being a devoted wife, mother and grandmother, she worked on farms and fruit orchards, delivered mail, helped to put together fashion shows, and for many years worked at the "Crossroads" ski shop in New London. In her later years, Mim developed a passion for antiques and became a well-known dealer on the auction circuit in northern New England. She was a regular contributor to Unravel the Gavel, a publication covering the area antique market; and, until recently, she could be found behind the counter every weekend from Memorial Day through Columbus Day at Priscilla Drake’s Antique Barn in New London. Mim was also an enthusiastic fan of any sport featuring one of her grandsons ? she rarely missed a game.
   Mim will be missed and remembered by friends and family, including her sons, Walter Hull Carpenter III, of Montpelier, VT, and Scott Hayward Carpenter and his wife, Lisah, of Wilmot, NH, and their children, Raul and Francis. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that friends and colleagues go out for dinner and raise a glass in her memory. For anyone wishing to make a donation, the family suggests the Walter H. Carpenter Chair, Babson College, Babson Park, MA, 02457-0310.
   A funeral service will be held at the First Baptist Church of New London, on Friday, September 8, at 11:00am, followed by a gathering at the church, and burial at the West Part Cemetery, County Road, New London. Funeral arrangements are being handled by Chadwick Funeral Service, of New London. Condolence messages may be sent on-line, at www.chadwickfuneralservice.com