We are grateful that many people, when they see something they like on the OSP website, are nice enough to write and tell us. That was how we first heard from "Flamingo Frank" of Flamingo Surprise. "Frank" (his real name is Rick - go figure) says his Chicago firm was the first in the nation to offer the "service" of a commando raid which leaves a lawn covered with plastic flamingos, plus a sign commemorating the occasion.
He asked us, "How would you like to interview the guy who invented the plastic pink flamingo?" All we could think of to say was, Do shrimp stink? As a result, on Tuesday, Feb., 25, 1997 we were privileged to talk to Don Featherstone, the father of the flamingo concept. Granted, it was only over the phone, and we talked only for about 35 minutes, but we learned volumes. The first thing we learned when we called Mr Featherstone at his Union Products plant in Leominster, Massachusetts, was that he is graciously accessible. When we began speaking, he didn't realize that our call was one he had been told to expect - he just picked up the phone when the receptionist told him that some guy said he wanted to interview him.
We introduced ourselves, going to some trouble to explain who we were and that - no kidding - Rick from Flamingo Surprise had set this up. Mr Featherstone clearly had no recollection of such an event, but he talked to us, even as if we were just someone calling out of the blue.
We asked if we had caught him at a bad time, to which he responded that this was actually quite a perfect time, as he was "between meetings." We were impressed. After all, we could have been a hit man from 60 Minutes calling to set him up for an expose on the toxic chemicals he uses to make his lawn ornaments. What transpired was the following discussion:
OSP: Mr Featherstone, first let us congratulate you on your award of a 1996 Ig Noble Prize. [Author's Note: Each year, in Cambridge, Mass., the editors of the Annals of Irreproducible Results present their Ig Noble Awards, in a parody of the Nobel awards ceremony.]
DF: Oh, you know about those guys? They're really nuts.
OSP: Yes, their journal is clever and a lot of fun, a great parody of the serious scientific journals in our line of work, psychometrics. And to think, they presented you the Ig Noble Award, for Art no less. That brings to mind my first question: We were a little taken aback to hear you described as "the inventor of the pink plastic flamingo." We would prefer to think of you as "the artist who created the PPF." Which is it?
DF: There's a little of both that went into it. I came to work for Union Products right out of art school. The flamingo was one of my first projects. I sculpted it out of clay. But converting a sculpture to plastic forces you to be an engineer to some extent, to come to grips with the strengths and limitations of plastic. My pink flamingo would look a lot different if I'd made it out of bronze.
OSP: So Union Products is the only place you've ever worked?
DF: I went to work for Union Products right out of the school of the Worcester Art Museum in 1957 and I've been there ever since. Last year I bought the firm from the former owners, who retired at ages 88 and 90.
OSP: We have a lot of readers who wonder whether you might be a surfer on the internet.
DF: You mean like with a computer?
OSP: Well, yeah. You know, the worldwide web and all that.
DF: Oh, you're the computer guy! Now I remember. Rick said you'd call sometime this week.
OSP: I take it you're not a computer guy?
DF: [Laughing] No, no. Never touched one. Don't plan to. I'm 61 years old and just don't see the need. We do have computers all over the plant, though.
OSP: Tell me about your company.
DF: We manufacture a line of about 600-800 products, and I sculpted every one of them.
OSP: Lawn ornaments?
DF: Oh, yes. Ducks, flamingos, penguins, gnomes, just about every- thing you could think of. We employ between 140 and 220 people, depending on the season. My first project was actually a duck. You know, we probably sell more ducks than we do flamingos. But you flamingo people are a lot different from the duck people.
OSP: How's that?
DF: Oh, look here. I just got today's mail. Look here. There's a bright pink envelope and - just a minute - now, confetti is pouring out of it. Not exactly confetti, it's bright flamingo- and palm-shaped confetti, I guess. And there are snapshots and a thank-you letter.[At this point, he begins to describe a letter from an admirer in Newport Beach, California, who had apparently called him for consultation on how to plan a party she called a "Flamingo Fling" - we say "apparently" because he had no recollection of such a conversation. In the envelope were pictures: women dressed in pink, adorned in flamingo eyeglasses, earrings, and necklaces, drinking presumably adult beverages out of flamingo mugs through flamingo straws. In the background were flamingos with blonde wigs.]
OSP: From the way you describe this correspondence, I take it that such letters are not all that unusual?
DF: Over a year, I probably average about one like that every day.
OSP: Back to flamingos. Our readers want to know the answer to some technical questions. Like what the heck are they made of? Something you found on an alien spacecraft in New Mexico?
DF: They're durable, all right. They're made out of the same plastic as the containers that they ship acid and glue in.
OSP: Why the metal rod legs? Art or engineering?
DF: My original model had wooden dowels for legs, but they were too expensive to make and plastic wasn't strong enough, so we went with the metal rods. We once put out a model called the Flamingo Deluxe. They looked very natural, with nice wooden yellow legs, but they wouldn't sell. It's almost like flamingo people think that the real birds have metal legs in their natural state.
OSP: What do you think about those newer model flamingos with the protruding leg braces to hold the metal rods?
DF: That was unacceptable to us. We saved money using the metal rods, but we also spent a lot of money on the sideaction--in-the-dye strictly to keep the body lines smooth and graceful.
OSP: Huh?
DF: I'm talking about how we molded the flamingo with bracing on the inside to receive the metal rods. That's the secret of the graceful appearance.
OSP: How many PPFs (Plastic Pink Flamingos) do you have in your own yard?
DF: Right now, there are no pink flamingos in my front yard. They look silly and out of place in the snow. Rather, I have two white flamingos - called Snomingos - and they're kept company by a group of 17 penguins. In the summer, I generally keep 57 flamingos on the yard. [Dear reader: We have no idea why we didn't ask, "Why 57?" Sorry.]{Note to reader, added at insistence of our wife, who had lots of time to figure this out: "Mr Featherstone created the plastic pink flamingo in what year? Duh."}
OSP: Tell me about your very first flamingo.
DF: I sculpted the first one of clay, which was then used to make a plaster cast. The plaster cast, in turn, was used to make aluminum dies to mold the plastic.
OSP: Do you still have one from the first batch you molded?
DF: Oh, no. I did recently buy one of the first ones though when I found it at a yard sale nearby. I think I paid $2 for it.
OSP: How did you know it was one of the first?
DF: The first ones didn't have the feather detail molded in like they do now.
OSP: I would think that would be a serious collector's item these days.
DF: I heard the other day that an antique store was selling one for several hundred dollars, but I can't imagine paying that much.
OSP: You sound so unaffected, yet you must know that you are a true icon of '50s pop art.
DF: Yes, I first realized that when the flamingo was coming up on its 30th anniversary. At the time, I wasn't even aware that the 30-year point was coming up, and suddenly I was being invited to all kinds of parties in honor of my pink flamingo. I didn't go to many of them, but I realized something special was happening. I started paying attention and hearing more stories.
OSP: What kind of stories?
DF: There was an automobile dealer from Oklahoma who bought 700 flamingos from me and paid to have them express-mailed to him. He had been using them to get publicity. He and his employees would sneak out in the night and put them up as a flock in some conspicuous place, and it would make the news. Each morning the flamingos would mysteriously appear in a new location - no explanation, no signs or anything. It got to where they had morning traffic reporters in their helicopters reporting on the latest location of the flock.
The car dealer's plan was that, on the last day of his stunt, the flock would show up at his dealership. What he didn't count on was that people would stop on the highways and steal them. And that's why he suddenly had an urgent need to buy 700 of them from me. By the way, he did win a marketing award from General Motors for his efforts.
OSP: And that's when you realized the flamingo was here to stay?
DF: Do you know that there has been a plastic pink flamingo on display every year at the National Hardware Show for nearly 40 years now -- virtually unchanged? How many things can you say that about?
OSP: And now we have companies specializing in nighttime raids to fill people's lawns with those flamingos, for a price.
DF: Yes. Flamingo Surprise does that nicely and with flair. Tastefully.
OSP: Talk about the flamingo from your perspective as an artist.
DF: I don't want it to be just a joke. I'll bet 90% of the people who buy them just really like them. They feel like I do, that an empty yard is like an empty coffee table - it cries out for something.
OSP: Artistically, you mean?
DF: Throughout history, people have loved statuary. There's plenty of evidence, in old paintings, in carvings, even in ancient hieroglyphics, that people have always loved to decorate their surroundings. In early America, for the longest time, there was no lawn ornamentation. Around the turn of the century, the Europeans started bringing over lawn ornaments in the form of bronze statuary. They were beautiful, and very popular, but few people could afford such things. Keep in mind that, before plastics, only rich people could afford to have poor taste.
OSP: So you're the one who brought poor taste to the masses?
DF: You know, my own neighbors used to hate my flamingos; complained about them all the time. Then they moved to Florida, and the first thing they say when they write us a letter is how much they miss the flamingos and would I please send them some.
OSP: How do you want to be remembered?
DF: I did something that people enjoyed, something that amused people. That's so much more satisfying than, say, designing something destructive like the atom bomb. And I'll tell you something about people who put out flamingos: They're friendlier than most people. Remember, they don't do it for themselves - they're doing it to entertain you.
OSP: What's next for you?
DF: I really like how my flamingo looks - it's very graceful. But I can't help but wonder, why not my duck? Maybe some day it'll take off like the flamingo did.
OSP: Well, good luck with it. Mr Featherstone, it's been great of you to give us this interview. Our readers will love it.
DF: My duck is anatomically correct, you know.
About the author: Monty Stanley is a career civilian employee of the Department of Defense. In real life, he's an industrial-organizational psychologist, in charge of developing promotion tests for enlisted members of the Air Force.
"Why the flamingo?" we asked.
"Well, what I generally tell people is this," he said. "We're a military organization, so we had to have a mascot -- I think it's a federal law or something. All the real sexy animal mascots were taken already -- you know, like the Tigers and Cheetahs and Cobras and Panthers and such. And besides, we're not really fighters anyway -- heck, we're psychologists. So the flamingo seemed like the perfect choice. After all, the flamingo is the universal symbol of good taste and psychometric excellence."
To view his website, one of the premier PPF websites "On Stagnant Pond" go to:
http://lonestar.texas.net/~stanleym
Flamingo Island at Shopping Therapy for the Culturally Depraved at:
http://offthedeepend.com/flamingo.htm
GardenWeb's Garden Party Forum: http://www.gardenweb.com/forums/party
Their response to Cheryl York-Cail's April article online: "That article is a hoot, I guess that explains the charisma of the pink flamingo, like the old saying 'the apple don't fall far from the tree'.
The article underneath it [ed. note: Harry Rinker's editorial] was interesting too, I bet I know of the only 'Tickle Me Elmo' still being regularly played with, I bought one for the extensively handicapped brother and sister (5 and 7 y.o) I take care of. They become very attached to their toys and never seem to get tired of them. They've had it since October (hey, I'm one heck of a trend-spotter) and play with it daily. Ours, which I bought at the same time ($25 a pop), sits on our entertainment center , one shelf down from Marvin Martian, lonely and bored. (BUT IN GOOD CONDITION, if any one wants to make an offer)