ephemera
Pamela Apkarian-Russell

Loch Ness Monsters & Oil

For those who think the Loch Ness Monster and other seldom-sighted creatures are myths I have two words, "You’re wrong." I’m not citing the many postcards that have been produced over the years, or the knick-knacks, as proof. I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Or would I? Well maybe I would and will, but, as a life-long "Nessy" believer, (and don’t you laugh,) I’ve finally found a book that confirms all of my theories scientifically and makes more sense than the Zoologists ever thought of making. F.W. Holiday wrote "The Great Orm of Loch Ness" in 1968 and I just found the book!

Holiday was a journalist and a writer on angling. After 35 years of being a watcher of the Nessy phenomena and having had a few sightings himself, he decided to debunk the debunkers, and a darn good job he did too. Like an archeologist he peels away strata after strata and then links it up with evidence of what is happening elsewhere. It's almost a mystery adventure story. The best part is that he explains why the Orm is not a mollusk but a worm.Yes, a worm, and then ties it in with ancient history and mythologies and voila, we have the mythical dragon.

No this isn’t a book review, but as an insatiable reader, I can tell you this is one the most exciting books I’ve read in years. I’ve even double checked on his facts regarding it being a worm and the size, shape and lifestyle, and it all makes a lot of sense to me.

So here is this gigantic worm that lives in the water, burrows under it and into caves but occasionally, when the wind isn’t blowing, and the water is calm, decides to come ashore. This is a creature so slimy and scaly and disgusting (and, I don’t mean because his table manners are bad and he swallows trout and anything he can consume whole in one gulp either), which emits an acidic substance that keeps prey away and has intrigued people for centuries. Some have thought they are really fallen angels, which if so, should have put pay to the devil theory for all times, unless, horns and ugliness and eating everything in sight is evil.

The Dragon theory is another thing altogether though, and linking the Orm (or Orms as they are after all in the plural) with places and historic events that we have relegated to myths, is rather exciting. I think the most interesting fact is those, and there are many, which have sighted Nessy(s) become addicted watchers, but the few who have close-up sighting have been so horrified they have retreated full scale (pardon the pun) and are horrified at the experience.

Those of you who are amused by the "cute" knick-knacks of Nessy or who enjoy the many postcards of Nessy, most of which are comic, will find this book, if find it you can, to be an eye-opener.

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So you think this is a myth? It isn’t, but I’ll tell you what is a myth — The Gas Crunch. Some of you may recall last summer I was predicting interest rates would go up because oil prices would soar. I mentioned these things in passing here and there in print and often in talking to folks at the antique shows. I was saying how soon the whole antiques business would be forced onto Ebay because we wouldn’t be able to afford the oil prices. Even I wasn’t psychic enough to predict the prices, just the why and how of it all. However, that is another story, another myth, another... Which brings me to Gas Stations. Whether it is the maps that they gave away, some of which were extremely graphic, or advertising signs, or any of the myriad other ephemera items the oil companies produced you have to admit they were better than the boring glasses they later gave away.

Every now and then you see the candles that were premiums during the holidays. Those are fun to decorate with, but the glasses were on the whole just plain boring. Seventy-six gasoline (Union 76) did a large series of scenic postcards of the west. Oil wells were a favorite subject as they showed both the natural wealth produced to benefit humankind, but also the financial wealth that was gained by it. Oil and wealth were one and the same at one time. Foreign oil came when the population explosion took place and oil companies found they could buy it cheaper from Middle-Eastern countries rather than looking for and drilling here.

Remember the good old days when Carter put solar energy in the White House (Reagan took it out) and there was a tax credit for those who put it into their homes? The tax credit is unfortunately, gone along with the affordable prices and the clear and green gas station glasses. All that is left of the vision of wealth in America is the ephemera left behind and the oil that is still sitting under the ground in this vast continent.

One wonders what early oilmen like Col. Drake would think today when they see a nation once great in oil production, crippled by price gouging and price fixing. When you purchase your next antique think how much of the price is the price of gas to buy the item, bring it to where you purchase it and heat the place you are buying it from. Don’t forget to add in the price of the gas you paid to get where you purchased it. Many dealers are already worried about the drop in attendance at shows and shops. So pull out those old gas station maps that were once free and look at the prices of gasoline, motels, and restaurants and get that nostalgic feeling for the days when home-grown oil was king, not a hostage.

About the Author: Pamela Apkarian-Russell has an antique shop specializing in postcards, ephemera and holiday items, and is always interested in purchasing items for her shop on Route 10 in Winchester, NH or for her private collection. An author of 5 books, and publisher of the Trick or Treat Trader, she writes for magazines/newspapers internationally. Email/call: halloweenqueen@cheshire.net or 603-239-8875.